MT Madness: Nature Is My Home

By John Schupp

That morning, I woke up at 2:45am. I didn’t sleep well. A lot of thoughts were still flowing through my head, my main concern being my IT band. Had I strengthened it enough? I felt confident about finishing, but how well, really? I was afraid that the day was going to be a complete struggle. Tiffany had heard my concerns in my outbursts of emotion all week (basically, I was being a little bitchy.) I’m sure she had enough of that.

Our caravan of DRCer’s made it to the Berryman campgrounds in plenty of time to be race-ready and let Frank take pictures before the start. When we were lining up, I headed for the front of the group—like any 5k or 10k I’ve run, I thought I needed to take an early lead, right? Luckily, Greg grabbed me and brought me back to earth; 50 miles is a long way. I took my place toward the rear with him and Randi. We took off and walked for the first mile, single file in the dark, occasionally trotting for a few seconds as the line loosened up. When the sun came up, my nervousness subsided. Not because there was light, but because it was beautiful. I felt like whatever was going to happen, it would be ok at that point.

This trail consisted of all types of terrain, from gentle pine needle to heavy rock, rolling landscape to straight up climbs. All of it was beautiful. Nature truly is my home. I think I’ve been a trail runner all my life, I just didn’t know it. I grew up playing in the woods: hunting, fishing, building forts, riding dirt bikes, and hiking was my playtime growing up. I can sit in the woods for hours, lost in thought. Trail running is one of the few times where I’ve found myself completely engulfed in the present. Everything else seems to be inconsequential. I am just able to be.

The time was passing quickly. Randi, Greg, and I were slowly gaining ground and passing people as the morning progressed. I enjoyed the good company and conversation. At the mile 15 AS, I felt like letting go, and off I went! Mile 15-20 was my favorite section: the pine needles and the gently rolling hills made it easy to open up my stride. At one point, I looked back and felt out of place—I’ve never led in a race against Greg before—but I pushed on. I felt amazing, and I was going to keep going while the going was good.

I was looking forward to seeing my friends at mile 20. The DRC AS rocked! I didn’t stay long because I was in the zone and wanted to keep moving. Around mile 23-24, I ran into a short lady from Colorado who everybody called M. She was using this race as a training race for an upcoming 100-miler. I can’t remember where. She was moving pretty fast, so I decided to follow her for a while. One thing I liked about her was she yelled on her way into aid stations, and I’m fond of yelling, haha! And, she talked, which was good because I didn’t have my iPod charged before the race like I thought. I finished my first loop under 5:30 hours. At the Start/Finish, John Cash was there to help me process things, change my shirt, and get back on my way.

I kept up with M until mile 35 when things really started getting tougher. This section is a big uphill, and the pain was starting to creep in my knees and feet. I found myself reflecting on my life a lot while I was by myself. My iPod would have been nice at this point. The next 5 miles were dark for me. I walked almost the whole time. When I ran, I kept tripping, like I couldn’t pick up my feet. This was the first time I had doubts. I kicked a rock so hard that I thought my big toenail might fall off. I thought that if the rest of the race was going to be this hard, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to finish. People I had passed earlier were very encouraging as they passed me back. One guy told me that there are highs and lows in ultras, that it all can change in the next mile. I thought he was crazy and just nodded as he passed. This is also the loneliest I’ve been in a long time. I didn’t foresee running ever being lonely, but ultras can be just that. I think it helped me see the beauty in the relationships I have today; I also understand why runners are such a caring bunch of people, always ready to help one another. 

I was relieved to see a familiar face when I finally made it to the mile 40 AS. I think John could see the way I felt. He made some fruit suggestions and I listened with all ears. The watermelon he suggested was a life saver- I’m keeping that one in my notes! With some reassurances, he sent me on my way, actually running again. A few minutes went by, and I was still running- I broke through that wall I had hit at mile 35!

I could again see myself conquering this tremendous feat I set out to do. All the training came down to this day. I knew it was mine. I began to cry. I ran and cried. I passed people, crying. I was happy. I was determined. I still hurt just as much, but I believe I overcame that. I walked some, but I was running again. I knew my favorite AS was coming up. On my way up the hill to the DRC AS, I let out a yell, and I think they knew it was me.

Every time I passed through an AS, I thanked them for their help, except DRC. It takes a lot more than I thought to put on a race like this. There were as many volunteers as there were racers. It wasn’t because I wasn’t grateful that I didn’t thank them; I’m grateful for them most of all. I was just so excited to see my friends that it slipped my mind! See, these guys told me I could do it when I wasn’t sure of myself; these are the people that lent me their gear when I forget something; these guys helped me find a diet that I could run and survive on for 12 hours without my body rejecting it; these friends went on long training runs with me; these are my people! They made me smile when my body hurt more that it has in a very long time. Thank you so much. I finally got to see Tiffany at mile 45, Frank got her there just in time. I told them I’d race them to the finish and I took off.

I ran probably 3 of the last 5 miles. The pain was actually disappearing with the thought of finishing. With about .75 miles to go, two runners caught up with me on the last climb to the finish, which gave me the motivation I needed to take off one more time. I started running up that hill because I really didn’t like the idea of getting passed in the last mile of a 50 mile race. So, I ran as hard as I could and I didn’t stop. I looked back and they weren’t there anymore. I kept running. I let out another yell when I could see the sign at the trailhead. I came out of the woods with everything I had in me. I finished in 11:48:29. I placed 11^th overall. Now I have a goal for Berryman 50 in 2016.